As a couple therapist, I constantly work with couples who fight about sex, housework and kids. Typically, working with heterosexual couples, I hear women complain that the men don’t do enough or anything around the house or with the kids. …
Exceptions and exemptions in a pandemic
Or – how Karen is fighting to run the COVID-19 show. Every year, in the lead up to Christmas, I hear people talk, obsess, and incessantly grumble about Christmas. For a supposedly joyful time, Christmas, for many people, seems to …
About Sibling Abuse
Sibling abuse isn’t sibling rivalry or jealousy. Sibling abuse is emotional, physical or sexual abuse by a sibling. Often parents don’t see it for what it is – abuse. As a rule, parents and society expect fights and aggression between siblings. …
The Power to Heal – Apologies in Relationship Conflict
Relationships invariably involve peaks and troughs. No matter how close two people might be, disagreements, misunderstandings and hurt feelings will happen. Such mis-attunements, while common, can mean the difference between a relationship that deepens and strengthens, and one that founders …
The Relationship Blueprint
I think of relationship as an invitation between two people to build a structure together, a building of sorts, which will become their relationship home. For this building to be a sound home for both people, it needs to feel …
To Date or Not to Date
I’m 60 years old. I’m female by birth, and I’m fortunate that I have always felt okay with my gender from birth. I’m an introvert and I have the good fortune to live alone by choice and to be able …
Insider/Outsider, US and Others
I sat in a supervision session the other day with one of my favourite people: one of my supervisees. K is a woman of 44 years of age, a passionate, dedicated medical doctor with so much integrity. She seeks supervision …
Post-Christmas Reflections on Relationships, Gifts and Stuff
I usually write something pre-Christmas. This year, I didn’t due to the mad rush that Christmas was for everyone, including me, with the ongoing concern about climate-change driven bushfires here in Australia, particularly on the Eastern seaboard. A question – …
Women’s Body Autonomy
All over the world right now, there’s a war raging. It’s a war over women’s right to body autonomy, bodily autonomy and bodily integrity. We don’t call it a war, but we should. Body autonomy Body autonomy, here, is used …
Relationships – Mistakes, Ruptures and Repairs
Mistakes are to be expected in all relationships. It’s what we do about them that determines the course that a relationship will follow over time. This principle applies whether the rupture arises between any two people, or on the international …