Couples Counselling

If the issues you want to look at concern an intimate relationship, then it most likely will work best if we work on the issue with both of you present.

Research shows that if a relationship is in trouble, then there is more chance of it being worked out successfully if the issues are worked through with both people involved in couple therapy than if only one person comes to therapy. Even if you do your best to be honest and ‘fair’ in giving me a complete a picture of what is going on between you and your partner, you will still have blind spots about some of your dynamics and patterns that recur and your part in it.

As a couple therapist, I have a better chance of seeing where to best intervene if I work with you together, challenging you both about your respective parts in the situation and resourcing both of you, than if I work with only one of you. What’s more, it will be easier on you if you are not made to be the ‘messenger’ for change who brings back new ideas to try to address in the relationship!

Nevertheless, it is also a sad reality that many partners who are part of a difficult relationship dynamic refuse to get involved in couple therapy. In that case, we can still work on the issues one on one; we just need to know there are greater risks in this and recognise that we will only be working on one point in a two person system.