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Sexual Revolution? For Whom?

As a couple therapist, I hear heterosexual women describe one-sided sexual contact with men all the time. By one-sided, I mean the focus is on male pleasure and the woman’s pleasure is either not attended to by the man or, …

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Why marriages don’t last anymore

In 2019, the divorce rate stood at 43%. That’s just official marriages. If we were able to take into account committed de facto relationships, which constitute a significant proportion of relationships today, that figure would rise substantially. So, the people …

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Exceptions and exemptions in a pandemic

Or – how Karen is fighting to run the COVID-19 show. Every year, in the lead up to Christmas, I hear people talk, obsess, and incessantly grumble about Christmas. For a supposedly joyful time, Christmas, for many people, seems to …

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About Sibling Abuse

Sibling abuse isn’t sibling rivalry or jealousy. Sibling abuse is emotional, physical or sexual abuse by a sibling. Often parents don’t see it for what it is – abuse. As a rule, parents and society expect fights and aggression between siblings. …

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The Power to Heal – Apologies in Relationship Conflict

Relationships invariably involve peaks and troughs. No matter how close two people might be, disagreements, misunderstandings and hurt feelings will happen. Such mis-attunements, while common, can mean the difference between a relationship that deepens and strengthens, and one that founders …

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The Relationship Blueprint

I think of relationship as an invitation between two people to build a structure together, a building of sorts, which will become their relationship home. For this building to be a sound home for both people, it needs to feel …

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To Date or Not to Date

I’m 60 years old. I’m female by birth, and I’m fortunate that I have always felt okay with my gender from birth. I’m an introvert and I have the good fortune to live alone by choice and to be able …

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Insider/Outsider, US and Others

I sat in a supervision session the other day with one of my favourite people: one of my supervisees. K is a woman of 44 years of age, a passionate, dedicated medical doctor with so much integrity. She seeks supervision …