In Parts 1 and 2, I presented the case for re-certifying for therapists and presented my own experience as a case study. In Part 3, I invite you to consider an array of practices that informed the approach I took …
Part 2: A case for re-certifying – putting myself under the spotlight
Re-certification is mandatory is many professions. As I have shown in Part 1, airline pilots are required to continually undergo and pass stringent tests to demonstrate their ongoing fitness for the role. In this piece, I propose that addressing the …
Part 1: Is there a case for re-certifying for therapists?
Professional fields and trades require members to be certified to verify that they have reached a certain standard of skill, competence, knowledge, and experience. In psychotherapy, once we have a basic degree or two, perhaps more in-depth training in a few …
The Inner Critic vs the Inner Adult
A piece I address with almost every client I meet in my work as a psychotherapist is the existence, intensity and impact of their inner critic. By that, I mean a critical internal voice that constantly finds fault with …
Here one moment, gone the next – reflections on good health privilege and its loss
Why I’m grateful for good health when I’m healthy Once again, I find myself dealing with (what I fervently hope will be) the temporary loss of what I’ve come to think of as robust good health privilege. Here, I use …
Training to leave
Whenever people contact me to work on issues they are unsure about that concern their relationship, I always make it a point to try to find out if they are coming to see if the relationship can be salvaged or …
On heresy
When I started my private practice in the late 1980s, I found myself in the odd position of suddenly having an influx of referrals from two very unexpected sources. I started seeing former Catholic nuns – older women who had …
Sexual Revolution? For Whom?
As a couple therapist, I hear heterosexual women describe one-sided sexual contact with men all the time. By one-sided, I mean the focus is on male pleasure and the woman’s pleasure is either not attended to by the man or, …
From chores to life work – talking to kids about contributing at home
Reflections on rights, needs, contribution and privilege in the domestic sphere Many couples and single parents I speak with complain to me that their children don’t ‘do enough’ or don’t ‘help enough’ around the house with household ‘chores’. While I’m …
Why marriages don’t last anymore
In 2019, the divorce rate stood at 43%. That’s just official marriages. If we were able to take into account committed de facto relationships, which constitute a significant proportion of relationships today, that figure would rise substantially. So, the people …