Letting Go

She’s gone. My friend of almost thirty years’ standing died on February 10, 2017, after a protracted battle with ovarian cancer. As I continued to prepare for the death of my dear friend (Kate), I was struck by the similarities between …

Life Housekeeping

Towards the end of the last calendar year, I found myself in the grip of a powerful urge to clean up my affairs on all sorts of levels; that sense of housekeeping urgency has followed me into the new year. …

On Choices and Choosing Wisely

Choice is about considering a situation we find ourselves in or an opportunity that has presented itself where there are multiple outcomes possible, depending on what path is chosen and implemented.  We might consider going out on a date with …

Boundaries in Relationship

“Boundaries make for good neighbours”, goes the saying. What does that mean? A boundary is a demarcation line; a way of distinguishing where one thing begins and another ends. National borders are boundaries that separate nation states into separate entities. Fences …

Does Psychotherapy Work?

I am rarely asked the question – “Does psychotherapy work?” Yet, the issue of therapeutic effectiveness is a question people should be asking given the enormous investment, financial, practical and emotional that it requires them to make. I am curious that this …

Making Co-Parenting Work After Separation/Divorce

I was seeing a couple the other day, assisting them to smooth the way as much as possible for their children as they separate and prepare their children for what life will be like going forward once they are no longer a …

New Year’s Resolutions 2016

New Year’s Resolutions 2016 ~ Making the Speed Bumps on the Road to Change Work For You. Every year, I hear that tired old refrain: “I’m going to be different”, “Next year, I’m going to ..”, and out comes a list …

Xmas – an Alien’s Viewpoint

Xmas – an Alien’s Viewpoint It’s ba-aack! No avoiding it. Every year in the Judeo-Christian influenced world, it hits like a tsunami. Starting from early hints in September, gradually building momentum in October/ November, until the tidal wall of commercial frenzy …

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Hard Choices – Termination

Termination always means something is brought to an end. Even when we think we want and choose an ending and plan for it, it can still be hard. As a therapist, I am asked to help people deal with endings in all …